To be continued

It seems like my emotional psyche is steering to the question of 'should i let myself be loved by the one who really loves me or should i continue reserving a space in my heart for the one i love?

To think that while i had the choice between both, icould have prevented this question from arising by choosing to stop venturing into the problem and settle for what i have. ( Taking theory from "ignorance is bliss" and reasoning it out to remaining blissful and ignorant of someone else. )

But if i hadn't, how would i know which is right?

And the result is that now i'm left with only one, and unanswered with an ongoing suspense.

Well i'm left with the one who loves me and you may say that it's not a bad thing at all, which i have to agree it isn't, however i feel something is missing. B may treat me better but it just isn't the same. At one stage i even contemplated on not dating B anymore just in the name of fairness. However now if J wants to come back to me and asks if i would like that as well, i honestly do not know the answer.

Sounds like a confused girl who can't make up her mind even when she is forced to? Well, this is where i have to draw the line between hope and reality. And coming to terms with what i want vs what i can't live with - and what i have to compromise vs my feelings.